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EEDITORIAL
xxx SSEATTLE PROTESTS
WE'VE
ARRIVED
AND TO
PROVE IT
WE'RE HERE

READ THIS STORY IN
PRINTABLE PLAIN TEXT

WELCOME to the first web
issue of Coffeehouse Culture.
With a little help from the pixels
at the bottom of our garden, we
have finally made it. And this
time around we are going to do it
better. This time around? In case
you do not know, Coffeehouse
Culture started its life as a paper
publication produced in Amster-
dam. One issue was produced
and 15,000 copies were distribut-
ed in Amsterdam and the UK.
Many of them are now probably
lining cat litters in both places.
This, however, is not a paper
publication (touch your screen if
you do not believe us.) Nor is it
totally the same as the paper
version. Some stories have been
left out because of new material.
(All the new stuff is flagged so
you know what is what.) And in-
evitably there have been changes
in the format and layout. For all
the changes, we have tried to
retain the overall 'feel' of the
paper version.
This is a marriage of a paper
publication to a new medium.
Something old, something new,
something borrowed, something
brown. And there you have Coff-
eehouse Culture. But, and it is a
big 'but', this is the web. You
know that extraordinary-interact-
ive-multimedia-all-bells-and-
whistles thingy. Not much of that
here, we're afraid. Coffeehouse


xxx
SEATTLE'S BATTLES
SOMETHING IN THE AIR?
READ THIS STORY IN
PRINTABLE PLAIN TEXT

As the straight media focused on the violent minority
involved in the World Trade Organisation protests in
Seattle, they missed the full significance of the event.
This was a protest like none other.


It has been a long time since public feeling ran high enough in the
States to get people onto the streets and making enough noise to attract
world wide media interest. But the protests in Seattle designed to
disrupt the World Trade Organisation meeting during the last week in
November did just that. But, as usual, the straight media focused on all
the wrong things, missing completely the real significance of more than
50,000 people protesting about a global issue rather than a national or
personal one.
There has never been a protest quite this one. The meeting of the
World Trade Organisation provided a focus for the various
dissatisfactions of all those who can see the global economy turning the
world into little more than a profit centre. Full-blown anarchists
marched alongside assorted environmentalists and animal and human
rights activists but that didn't matter because they were all protesting
about the same thing. And what exactly was that?
There have been few issues as disturbing in recent decades as the
sharp decline in social values. As society has become increasingly
commercial, the traditional social values that made for civilisation have
become eroded. This has resulted in a dehumanisation of the world
and its resources. Reflected in a lack of common humanity, a decline
in ethical values and a debasement of the minimum accepted standards
for civilised societies, it is this dehumanisation that was the subject for
the protests in Seattle and elsewhere. For the majority of people in
western societies who have been witness to the decline in social
standards but have been unable to see any clear focus for protest, the
events in Seattle offer some hope.
And, for the several million readers of 'The Celestine Prophesy',
perhaps a little more than hope. In his bestseller, author James Redfield
describes a series of changes in social attitude which mark a move-
ment away from dehumanisation towards life at a higher level. As the
basis for his predictions, Redfield accurately describes a slow spiritual
awakening, reflected in an ill-defined 'restlessness', starting in the
1960s and, he says, reaching fulfilment at the end of the century.
Although his time scale might be a little out, it is evident that such an
awakening is taking place.
In many ways, the Seattle protests could be seen as providing a cert-
ain vindication of Redfield's prophesy.
James Redfield, of course, in not alone in predicting major changes as
the new millennium draws on. Many pundits, ancient and modern,
predict tempestuous times for the world over the coming decades.
BACK TO TOP

Who says
there is no
reincarnat-
ion? To prove
our previous
existence,
here is our
first and, so
far, only
poster. It
advertised
the first
issue with
the slogan: 'Something
to read in the
Louvre'. The first of a series of posters
taking liberties with some of the world's
great works of art, the poster made it
onto our T- shirt and became something
of a collectors item. A few copies still
remain and are available at an astron-
omical price from the Culture Shop.
Although we won't be using them for
street advertising any more, the whole

set of posters still exists and we'll be
releasing a new one for sale through the
Culture Shop with each issue.
BACK TO TOP
Culture was, as is the nature of
paper publications, text-based
and was, therefore, only margin-
ally interactive and then exclus-
ively on a cerebral level. Coffee-
house Culture was designed to be
read sitting comfortably with a
joint on the go and a cup of
coffee to hand. Inter-inactivity,
as it were.
But! That word again. All this
will change. So far as multimedia
interactivity goes, the site will
have plenty of that. And, philist-
ines that we are, we will be
sullying even the pages of this
pristine journal with cheap (but
xxx
RED EYES IN
THE MORNING,
OPTICIANS
WARNING
READ THIS STORY IN
PRINTABLE PLAIN TEXT
AS IF YOU weren't doing
enough to give yourself
bloodshot eyes, here you are
reading masses of text on
screen. We've tried to make
it
easy on the eyes by going for
backgrounds that are glare-
free but even so . . . . Think of
your eyes, man! It is possible
to print out text, you know?
Docker De'Ath, our health ex-pat (yes, he's out of Maid-
stone Remand Centre and out
of the country) says: "Good
God, man, reading text on a
computer screen is worse for
your eyesight than
masturbation but probably
not as much fun."
To avoid damage to your
vision, the good Docker's
recommendation is: "Use
common sense. Don't sit
staring at you computer
screen if your eyes feel sore.
Download and print out the
articles if you must read
them."
To completely freak you out,
xxx

our conscientious quack has
prepared a short movie
showing the effects of too
much screen viewing which,
exercising his ghoulish sense
of humour, he has called
'French Freyes.' Working in
the tradition of the Blair
Witch Project, the Docker has
made good use of the shaking
hand technique to which --
as a sufferer of delirium
tremens -- he adds a unique
and, at times, impossibly
erratic authenticity. However,
due to the intense horror
element in this movie (it's a
28 minutes to download) we
are unable to show it at the
moment. As soon as his
gruesome oeuvre is viewable,
we'll let you know.
BACK TO TOP
not in the time they take to down-
load) gimmicks and those picture
things. If the download times
overwhelm your boredom thres-
hold, turn off 'graphics' in your
browser for a faster but less
aesthetically pleasing experience.
Soon we will coming up with not
only a text-only version but a
PDF so you can print out Coff-
eehouse Culture and, maybe,
read it with a joint on the go and
a cup of coffee to hand.
In making the transition to the
web we have tried to create a
balance between the text and the
bells-and-whistles stuff. That is
why the Coffeehouse Culture site
is a much broader enterprise than
merely an e-zine. Even within this
section of the site we will try to
offer slightly more than just text
and pictures. And as we gain
increasing mastery over this web
mystery, the interactivity will
increase.
Although Coffeehouse Culture
might have something important
to say, it was never set up to be
anything more than an entertain-
ment for those with the same
interests as the editor and other
contributors. And there is much
more scope for entertainment on
the web.
BACK TO TOP
xxx
this was our front page lead story in the paper publication
8.5 MILLION PEOPLE
CAN'T BE WRONG
But The UK Government Could
READ THIS STORY IN
PRINTABLE PLAIN TEXT

Although written n the autumn of 1998, when the UK's
Government was rather less well established than it has since

become, the main point of this story has not changed.
Although the lies, damned lies and statistics might have
changed, there are a lot of smokers in the UK. Indeed, enough
to make a real difference one way or another to the way the
country is run.


Tony Blair's New Labour Government needs money.
Committed to sticking to the Tories' spending plans and
with a whole lot of expensive new measures of its own
in hand, 'New' Labour has real money problems.
However, a solution is at hand. As Coffeehouse Culture
reveals in its lead Cannabisness story (see
'Let the Good Times
Roll'
, page 4), the UK has a new and vibrant growth industry
that could easily produce the necessary funds to secure the
already faltering reputation of Tony Blair's government. With
these funds, Blair would no longer find it necessary to tighten
the screws on the poverty-stricken to support the health
service, education changes and other measures that have been
'promised'.
The potential money-spinner for the UK Government is the



The Cannabis-Cafe
Oudebrugsteeg 27,
1012 JN Amsterdam
EPITOMISING
THE BEST
THAT AMSTERDAM
HAS TO OFFER

Coffeehouse Culture says:
'Even if we weren't indebted
to de Kuil's owner,
Michael Veling, for his
support and belief in
what we are doing, we would
still be telling you that the
Cannabis-Cafe is the best
that Amsterdam has to offer.
'

www.cannabis-cafe.com
xxx large and growing domestic cannabis industry. With over 23%
of 16 to 25 year olds in the UK smoking cannabis on a regular
basis, the size of this industry can only be guessed at but in
any terms it must be viewed as extremely large. With suitable
licensing and taxation measures in place the cannabis industry
could provide Tony Blair's Government with all the funds it
needs.
While licensing and taxing the cannabis industry might be an
extreme response to Blair's financial problems, it would
certainly solve the Government's dilemma. Such a move
would, of course, be beyond the Government's courage or
imagination without a major repositioning of cannabis in the
public arena.
Although a cannabis public-profile 'makeover' might seem to
be an unachievable dream, it is not impossible. Nonetheless,
Coffeehouse Culture will be doing everything it can to help the
Blair Government, as it is doing what it can for the Dutch
Government.
The Coffeehouse Culture 'Support From Unexpected Quarters'
Initiative with governments is just one of the ways in which
Coffeehouse Culture will be trying to integrate the cannabis
culture into society as a whole. The pivot of its activities on
behalf of the cannabis community will, however, be based on
the phenomenon that is represented by Amsterdam's
coffeeshop society as it emerges as a full culture.
BACK TO TOP

OUTTA SITE
READ THIS STORY IN
PRINTABLE PLAIN TEXT

For those of you who like to check-off the mistakes, we reprint
the original description of the web site you are now experiencing.
Written when the web was even more of a mystery to us than it is
now, when all this was rather less than a twinkle in the eye of its
creator, it just goes to show that we'll say anything for a story.
Believe nothing that you read below.
xxx
been surveying the smokers' sites
out there and, although he is full
of admiration for the wealth of
text-based information available,
"there are hardly any sites that
are entertaining and fun to use;
BACK TO TOP Cont. on PAGE TWO

FOR THOSE
of you in perman-
ent accommodation, Coffeehouse
Culture will soon be available in a
form that does not provide
protection from the elements.
Yes, you've guessed it, for all
you stoned people out there
with no lives, we are going on the
xxx
web. With the help of the great God, Technosweat, our site should be up and running not long after the first issue appears. Just what the world needs, another web site!
Ours, however, will be a site for sore eyes. Our inspired web-
master tells us that he has
xxx
CANNABIS CUP '99

WHEN THE SHIT
HITS THE FAN
Cup Corruption
Provokes Massive
Wave of Apathy
FULL REPORT PAGE 3
xxx

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