Coffeehouse Culture; Plain Text; Page Eight; Article One

It surely is crazy publishing an English-language newspaper in a country where English is the second language. But there is a very good reason. Although we cringe with embarrassment in owning up, Coffeehouse Culture is not really meant for the Dutch.
To be honest -- and, apart from when we are lying, we are always honest -- when we came to Amsterdam we had not realised just how highly developed the coffeehouse society was. It was a revelation for us to speak to Dutch people for whom this highly elevated culture was a fully integrated part of their lives.
Having been here for six months, we now know that there is very little that we can tell the Dutch about this experience or its implications. We had always intended Coffeehouse Culture to be primarily for English tourists but to make sure everybody understood it was for anyone who spoke English, we came up with the slogan: ‘Capturing the spirit of Amsterdam for English readers everywhere.’
And, as we know that Amsterdammers speak such incredible English, we hoped that they would feel included in that slogan.
And that is really the challenge for us -- coming up with stuff that will be interesting enough to captivate the Dutch. We are hopeful that we can; we are, after all, Space Cadets, 1st Class. We have spent a lot of time (over 30 years, in fact) studying consciousness in every way. This has given us immense knowledge and a chesty cough. But, by God, we had a good time doing it.
In absentia, far from this haven of consciousness, in our hearts and in our heads (but more in our hearts in recent times) we have been members of this society. Now, we hope, we will be able to demonstrate it.

	COFFEEHOUSE CULTURE -- Issue 1
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	PAGE EIGHT; ARTICLE ONE; POLICY STATEMENT NO SPEAKA DA LINGO As we had no desire to be seen to be patronising the Dutch in anyway, we felt it incumbent upon us to address them directly to give our reasons for producing Coffeehouse Culture. This article was supposed to do just that. However, on very little real evidence we had made one small assumption that rendered this article redundant from the start. It is, indeed, true that almost everyone in Amsterdam speaks some English and many speak it perfectly. English as a second language is, however, very different to English as a mothertongue. And speaking English is different to reading English.
	It surely is crazy publishing an English-language newspaper in a country where English is the second language. But there is a very good reason. Although we cringe with embarrassment in owning up, Coffeehouse Culture is not really meant for the Dutch. To be honest -- and, apart from when we are lying, we are always honest -- when we came to Amsterdam we had not realised just how highly developed the coffeehouse society was. It was a revelation for us to speak to Dutch people for whom this highly elevated culture was a fully integrated part of their lives. Having been here for six months, we now know that there is very little that we can tell the Dutch about this experience or its implications. We had always intended Coffeehouse Culture to be primarily for English tourists but to make sure everybody understood it was for anyone who spoke English, we came up with the slogan: ‘Capturing the spirit of Amsterdam for English readers everywhere.’ And, as we know that Amsterdammers speak such incredible English, we hoped that they would feel included in that slogan. And that is really the challenge for us -- coming up with stuff that will be interesting enough to captivate the Dutch. We are hopeful that we can; we are, after all, Space Cadets, 1st Class. We have spent a lot of time (over 30 years, in fact) studying consciousness in every way. This has given us immense knowledge and a chesty cough. But, by God, we had a good time doing it. In absentia, far from this haven of consciousness, in our hearts and in our heads (but more in our hearts in recent times) we have been members of this society. Now, we hope, we will be able to demonstrate it.

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