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NFEATURE
PLAIN TEXT
To have named them the ‘Great Books’ was perhaps a trifle immodest. But they are great books.
Laurence Cherniak’s epic volumes of hashish and grass lore, his beautiful photographs,
his travels and travails through the lands where the grass really is greener have become
legendary. These are books -- all three of them -- that should be in every dope smoker’s library.
In this tribute to both the man and the books, we give credit where credit is due.

GREAT BOOKS, LAURENCE

. the beginning was the word and the word was with Laurence Cherniak. Could this be a prediction from a future mythology? We hope so but it doesn’t matter much for the word WAS with Laurence. Not, however, just the word but the image as well. And they all came together in the first of his Great Books: ‘The Great Books of Hashish; Volume One; Book One.’ What a piece de resistance, what an ouvre, what coup de grace (okay, that’s us frenched out for this issue,) what a production, what a title. And on such nice shiny paper, too.
. .


No one had ever taken photographs of high quality hashish with such obvious loving care. Indeed, no one had taken photographs of any hashish until Laurence Cherniak happened along.
Taken from
The Great Books of Hashish Vol 1 Book 1
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

the region and, of course, delicious pictures of the buds, plants and, in some countries, the hash produced
from them.
...If we were in any doubt about Laurence Cherniak’s abilities as a photographer, the bud pictures say it all. His photographs, particularly, of growing plants are groundbreaking. One of the first of the photographers to get in close, Cherniak was a pioneer of microscopic photography and it is in the close-ups of buds covered in sparkly resin glands and prismatic droplets of THC that his skill as a photographer shines through.
...But the great bud photos are only one of the innovative aspects of Book II. Seguing from a review of grass in the States to the growing of it, Cherniak comes up with some of the most concise and knowledgeable information on growing we have yet encountered and includes a thorough

. ...But, really, when the first volume of the Great Books appeared on the new publications table of the Com-
pendium Bookshop near London’s famous Camden Lock, it was a galvanising experience. Although the far off post-hippy days when books



on cannabis could still be counted on the fingers of less than half a hand had gone, the appearance -- in 1979 -- of The Great Books of Hashish was a mind-waking, earth-shaking,
ground-breaking publishing event.
...For a decade and more, publishers had been filling the yawning gap in
. .
everywhere in this City of Dreams, the newly arrived hippies would ease their weary feet and unburden their brains of the tales of their travels as we sat and took in all that colour in the market squares or hash cafés.
...For most of us reaching Kath-mandu had been a struggle against spiralling poverty, escalating dysentery and terrible bunions. Survival on the six month journey by foot and thumbed lift had left many of us as penniless as paupers but with some experiences we could never write home about. It was when one reached Kathmandu that the poverty got to be a problem. Staying in Nepal was a matter of keeping ahead of the police who constantly checked the papers of foreigners. But your papers were not the only thing they checked. At the same time they also checked your wallet to see if you had enough to offer them a bribe. And if you didn’t . . .
...For many of us our deportation back to dear old Blighty or the US was one of the best bits of the whole trip. Deported in a convoy of buses and by train, it was a 24 hour party all the way to Delhi airport. Although the prospect of
. .
. . . . .
. the cannabis book market with a multitude of volumes designed to entertain, inform or just fill space on your bookshelves. The Great Books of Hashish, however, was different. It was a volume of a new order.
...From its juicy cover picture -- now so well known that it has become an icon of the smoking culture -- of a pile of Nepalese royal temple balls to its elegant layout and erudite text, this was a class prod-
uction. Indeed, so nicely produced was The Great Books of Hashish that it could be found adorning many a coffeetable in hip households at a time when coffeetables had not yet been elevated from their status as mere pieces of furniture. Among its many claims to fame, The Great Books of Hashish may well have been the prototype for that strange
.




With balls like that, he has got to be one happy man.
Kneaded into the basic shape, then rolled between the
palms until soft, sticky and malleable, this Royal
Nepalese Temple Ball was 'polished' on an
upended enamel plate. The 'polish' seals the ball,
keeping the inside soft and moist.
Taken from The Great Books of Hashish Vol 1 Book 1
photographic walk-through of cloning techniques that, at the time, constituted a major break-
through in
cannabis lore.
With an accom-
panying text that takes in all the important aspects of growing includ-
ing fertilisers
and pests
and picture
captions that
more than
supplement the
visuals, this is
.
genre of books designed primarily as decor. But, of course, it was not merely for looking at but for reading as well.
...And what a read. Truly a labour of love, this was a book on hashish by an enthusiast for enthusiasts. Never before had we read such informed and lovingly written text or


My, what a pretty tablecloth.
Taken from The Great Books of Hashish
Vol 1 Book 1
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

encountered such a glorification of the beauties of cannabis resin. As we joined Cherniak on his travels through Morocco, Lebanon, Afghanistan and Nepal, the world of hashish makers and making was miraculously revealed. This, as we could see from the extensively captioned photographs that accompanied the main text, was the real thing. And, boy, were we impressed.
...Written in an easy-going, pleasantly relaxed style, the main text is packed with information. Cherniak’s introduction is just that, a summary of the detailed information -- in word and picture -- to be found within, that focuses the mind and prepares the eye for what is to follow. And then, camera in hand, we are off on Laurence’s magic carpet to Ketema to sample some Moroccan Double-O Kif.
...As with all the chapters in The Great Books, after a little scene setting the main text provides an evocative and richly coloured back-
drop for the powerful photographs -- of grinning lumps of the finished product posing alongside implements of the hash makers trade and the smokers art, of some extremely stoned people and, remarkably, of the processes involved in producing those aforementioned globules of joy. Although all the photographs, almost without exception, are just beautiful, it is in the mini photo-essays through which Cherniak explores the techniques of hashish making that his volume makes its most impactful impression. Accom-
panied by detailed captions that vie with the main text for informational dominance, the photographs capture in dusky sepia tones the full exotica of hash production as never before. Carefully keyed to the pictures, the captions are rich with information and explanation.
...Having given up a chapter each to Morocco, Lebanon and Afghanistan, Laurence Cherniak hits the Indian sub-continent for the book’s final four chapters and its dramatic climax. Here is revealed his real love, his real passion, his real raison d’etre. In the pictures of lumps, blocks, pieces and balls of black hashish so rich and smooth looking that the smell almost rises from the pages, we can see that Cherniak is a man in the throes of a passionate affair with a substance. And we can all associate with that.
...But it was not towards the delights of the Parvarti valley, home of the sub-continent’s finest hand-rolled charas or to Manali that Laurence Cherniak headed. Despite the rich, fruity and highly spiritual highs available from the Parvarti Valley, Kulu and many other parts of Mother India, the intrepid hash hound had a higher goal in mind -- one at about 16,000 feet.
...At the end of the Hippy Trail shining like a beacon jewel in the crown of the Himalayas is that ancient centre of cannabis law, Kathmandu. High in the mountain range where the great rivers of India start as streams that wend their way through the stepped flower-hung cliffs of the jungled valleys, beyond the best efforts of modern transport, deep amid the snow capped peaks and prayer flag draped stupas is Shangri-la. Full of sannyasin and sadhus praising the great names of Shiva through the use of the deity’s favourite herb, Nepal is a country that can truly stake a claim to the title Highest of the High.
...Home of some of the world’s greatest hash masters and makers, Nepal was a temptress for many of the hippies who grew tired of repression and bullshit in their own lands. The famed hippy trail had to have at its end a goal, and Kathmandu was it. As travellers tales came back from foreign climes, the crystal sweet air of the Himalayas laced with the rich smells of burning temple balls exerted an allure that many could not resist. In another incarnation and a different pair of shoes, the editor of this publication was one of those who followed his nose to Kathmandu’s Eden Hashish Centre to drink their rank green but lethal bhang lassi and to smoke their famous hashish in their famous chillums.


A multi-mouthed mollusc makes
the most of Hawaii's bounty.
Taken from The Great Books of Cannabis
Vol 1 Book 2

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

...The Kathmandu experience is one to be cherished. In the exotic streets lined with wattle and daub buildings quietly flaking away in the clear, clean sunshine, the air was so full of the smells of alien cultures -- from the frying street foods of samosa and vada, from the temples and the houses burning incense to appease and propitiate the many Gods and Goddesses of Nepal’s strangely hybrid pantheon, of spices and herbs from the stalls and shops, of simple humanity and of cow dung -- that it was almost too much for the senses to handle. Bewitched, bemused and befuddled by the potent hashish available from, it seemed, just about
TOP OF COLUMN

. . tutting parents and po-faced Foreign Office civil servants was only moments away, we had seen and smoked the Goddesses, we had been to the high places where the earth and the sky merge, we had been reincarnated as the sons and daughters of Shiva, we had done ‘the trail.’ And we had a stiff letter from the Foreign Office charging us several hundred pounds for our air ticket back home to prove it.
...For Laurence Cherniak the Kathmandu experience must have been similar (except less poverty stricken.) It would seem so from his descriptions of the city and the surrounding area. His stay was also longer than the author’s. And he seems to have made the most of it. As Mr Cherniak explores the intricacies of hashish making in Nepal his love of the subject and the substance shines through in the intensely appreciative, almost devotional descriptions. Here are the famed photographs of the temple balls and royal Nepalese loaves. Here, too, are the warm and friendly faces of the makers and rubbers doing their ‘thang’ for the American tourist with the camera.
...Browsing over the last chapters

. . still one of best crash courses in growing we have seen.
...In another smooth transition, Mr Cherniak goes from photographs of only ‘one-third’ of the ‘American All-Star Stash’ featuring an impressively large collection of drugs, pipes and paraphernalia into another innovative photo-essay.

...Although the book’s final chapter on opium is a little out of sync with the ethos of the cannabis culture, it is a fine anthropological study of a hidden but significant part of society world wide. And, as such, constitutes yet another first for the diminutive Mr Cherniak. Once again Cherniak’s wonderful photographs take the centre stage as he applies his detailed eye to the growing, production, processing and use of the lethal substance. While his pictures of opium and opium users are not as pleasant to look at as those of the less destructive substance we choose to use, they are stunningly original and dramatic.
...In all the second book in the series of Great Books did not disappoint. But it was generally felt that Cherniak would have a little difficulty coming up with a third book. He seemed to have done the subject to death. So much so, indeed, that the last chapter of Book II was not about cannabis at all. We could only hope; it did say on one of the early pages of Book II that there would be a third volume dealing with ‘eating and drinking cannabis around the world,’ ‘smuggling in a couple of keys,’ the ‘anatomy of canna-
bis’ and ‘microscopic explorations.’ Hmmm, that sounded interesting. We couldn’t wait.


Jewels of THC sparkle on a
a bud in one of Laurence's
most luscious photographs.
Taken from The Great Books of Hashish
Vol 1 Book 3
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

...But we did have to wait. Not three years, or five years, not a decade but for seventeen years we waited. We had, of course, all but given up when news arrived of the imminent public-
ation of Book III. But as Laurence or someone else whose name begins with ‘L’ said in another context in a private communication to the editor of Coffeehouse Culture: ‘Works of genius take time.’
...And, indeed, all the promises were fulfilled.
...Produced, it would seem, with the backing of one of Cherniak’s long-time sponsors, Amsterdam’s own Sensi Seed Bank, and featuring an introduction written by Seed Bank founder, Ben Dronkers, it is the largest and thickest of the Great Books. That, however, is both a good and a bad thing. Surely a series of books should all be the same size? That is, surely, one of the nicest things about owning a compete set of books -- that they look good on the bookshelves. But the third volume of the Great Books has a slightly larger page size than the previous books. It is only a quarter of an inch but for us anally-retentive, order-obsessive hoarders and storers, it is quarter of an inch too much.


Every state gets a mention.
Taken from The Great Books of Hashish
Vol 1 Book 3
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

...It is a shame, too, that the colour tones were not maintained between volumes. A somewhat garish and unsubtle extravaganza of primary colours and Photoshop filters, Book III was produced by Laurence Cherniak himself on his computer. And while we might associate with his delight in discovering that computers are wond-
erful things (if you don’t have a life), we have never been fans of collage, montage or pistache; the resemblance of this last word to the phrase ‘piss-take’ may not, in our opinion, be entirely coincidental. But, unfortun-ately, that is what most of this work contains. Busy, busy, busy.
...The third book of the first volume of the Great Books (with the title again reverting to ‘. . . of Hashish’) fulfils, as we said, all of the promises. But not quite in the way we had anticipated. The world wide survey that started in Book II -- which, although we didn’t know it, was only part one -- becomes the main part of the newest volume with over 30 countries getting a mention as well as all 50 US states. That takes up 186 pages of the 248 page book. This is followed by an excellent word and picture essay on smuggling that gets ten pages. A further 20 pages are given over to the culinary arts as Cherniak assumes the role of the Giggling Gourmet and offers up some recipes -- traditional and new -- using grass. The text is slight and insubstantial but that is more than compensated for by the size of the type used. However, the partially sighted will find it a boon and the rest of us will just leave the book in another room. In a volume singularly short on text this does start with a good essay on cannabis comestibles in that exemplar of veggie food, India.
...It is the final section of the book

. . .

of his initial ouvre as he writes so fluently and evocatively about the place and the people is almost as good as having been there. The whole experience is there is the pictures and text. The smells, the tastes, the colours, the smoke. The whole thing.
...But, more significantly, enshrin-
ed within the first volume of The Great Books of Hashish is the first and most beautiful pictorial description of the Nepalese art of hashish making. And therein, in part, lies the major portion of Laurence Cherniak’s contribution to world knowledge. Although subsequently many have described the processes in far greater detail and with much more in-depth knowledge than Cherniak, his photographs say so much more.
...For many of us, The Great Books of Hashish; Volume One Book One’ became one of those cherished, well thumbed and frequently read volumes that was always to hand. For some it did, indeed, become the coffeetable book that we all loved to browse.
...On the assumption that, as the first book had been called Book One, there would be a follow-up volume we dashed out to the bookshop to order our copies. And we did not have that long to wait. By the middle of 1983 we had the second volume of the Great Books. The title we noted had somehow transmuted itself from Hashish to Cannabis. But we could hardly blame Cherniak for expanding his definitions. What more could one say about hashish than had been said in the first book? Subtitled, ‘Marijuana Around the World, Sensimilla, Stash, Opium,’ we wondered if Mr Cherniak might, in some small way, have lost his focus. But the book did not disappoint. While it did not have the tightly defined focus of the volume on hashish or quite as many transcendental photographs, Book Two still had much going for it. And, in its own way, was as innovative as the previous tome had been.



Ever the innovator, Laurence
Cherniak made the photography
of grass buds an artform.
Taken from The Great Books of Cannabis
Vol 1 Book 2
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

...Indeed, in terms of the text it had much more info that the previous volume. In addition to a vast amount of cannabis legend and lore, the book contains a very readable and detailed partial history of cannabis. It is, however, rather disappointing that the author seems to have become bored with this not long before lunchtime. Having spent pages detailing the development of cannabis use from the year dot to 1226, the following four centuries get nary a mention and the 17th 18th and early 19th centuries are dismissed in just a page and half. And, just like you are reading Coffeehouse Culture, suddenly it is the 60s. But, losing that vital focus even more, the history gives way to the polemics and the information to opinion.
...The somewhat idiosyncratic introduction is, however, only a minor glitch in an otherwise fine piece of work.
...Broadly the book breaks down into three sections: there is the ‘Marijuana around the world’ bit that takes in most of the main producers of weed and includes a section on growing with an excellent photo-essay on cloning, a section on someone's (possibly Cherniak's) drug collection and a word and picture essay dealing with opium production and use. And each section has much to offer. As we travel with Laurence to Afghanistan, Burma, Columbia, India, Jamaica, Lebanon, Mexico, Morocco, Nepal, Thailand and, finally, to the US of A, the info comes thick and fast. After a tight and informative general intro-
duction to buying and using weed, we are off on that magic carpet again. And, once again, it is the pictures that carry the story. For each country there is an informative essay on the its main products, pictures of leaves from the genotype associated with
TOP OF COLUMN

. .
PLAIN TEXT
Laurence Cherniak
A Biography (of sorts)

My what a man of many skills.
Not only is Laurence Cherniak creator of the Great Books a masterful writer, photographer and a professional dope smoker extraordinaire but also an actor, star of screen and community theatre stages, a musician, a scriptwriter, an artist, a poet, a designer, a computer buff, an unrestrained self-publicist, a registered solutions consultant with Apple Computers but also, he lets slip in one of the books, a trained ballet dancer. In our experience, however, he does not dance any pas de deux. Although in the biographies of the author that appear in the first two volumes of the Great Books the facts are few, he really is one of the world’s great myth makers. Unfortunately, the third of his books adds no further detail (but lots of pictures) to the story of the man behind the myths. No doubt he is saving it all up for the autobiography that will probably constitute all three books of Volume III. What can one say about this man of mystery? When it comes down to talking about his loud taste in knitwear it is only Coffeehouse Culture’s auntie Edith (author of ‘Knit Yourself a New Life’) who gets excited. Probably a hyper-active child, judging by his web site Mr Cherniak is a creative whirlwind who is cashing in on his talent. Selling postcards of his paintings and paintings of his postcards as well as a range of cannabis related products, Laurence Cherniak has recently produced a set of cannabis playing cards and a CD-Rom of his inimitable pictures of grass leaves. A Canadian by birth, Mr Cherniak has managed to overcome this disability through his world travels and exotic tastes. He remains a resident of Canada.
http://www.laurencecherniak.com

PLAIN TEXT
SEEDING THE CULTURE

Like so many hard-up people within the cannabis culture, Laurence Cherniak has benefitted from the support, promotion and sponsorship of the Sensi Seed Bank. One of the best known cannabis companies in Amsterdam, largely through the exceedingly well publicised, Hash Marijuana Hemp Museum, the Seed Bank has been influencial and successful in furthering the acceptance of marijuana and hemp in Dutch society and beyond. A tireless activist and a far sighted entrepreneur, Seed Bank founder, Ben Dronkers is one of the founding fathers of the cannabis culture as it exists in Amsterdam today and has been at the very fore-front of the culture throughout its develop-ment. The Seed Bank, started in 1973, is credited with the first skunk genotype and has been the prime mover in the dissemination of seeds to grow the skunk plants for which Amsterdam is renowned. With shops in Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Groningen and the famed Cannabis Castle near Rotterdam, Sensi Seed Bank has a strong presence within the Netherlands and, through the Cannabis Cup and sponsorship of many of cannabis luminaries, a growing one world wide. A highly professional set up that has been and continues to be among the most innovative in the cannabis field, the Seed Bank is among the leading breeders of new strains and have taken hemp into the broader commodity field with products such as hempflax (a bedding for horses), cosmetics and even fibreboard. The Seed Bank was among the first companies to be awarded a Cannabis Cup and have received innumerable cups and medals over the intervening years.

TO BUY THE GREAT BOOKS OF HASHISH, VISIT OUR FRIENDS
AT THE
SENSI SEED BANK SITE • TOP OF PAGE

. . proper -- from page 216 to 229 -- with its wonderful microscopic photographs of buds and their constituent parts that
is, perhaps, the most exciting. As one of those in the vanguard of micro-scopic photography of grass plants, Laurence Cherniak again breaks new ground with his high magnification pictures of trichomes and the sparkly bits we don’t usually see.
...It is perhaps an unfortunate error in judgement that the second largest section of the book, the 23 pages right at the end, is given over to the most outrageous bit of self-promotion we have seen in many a long year. It does not look good for the author’s self-image that he has to puff himself so excessively. Does he not feel, as do his many admirers (including the editor of Coffeehouse Culture), that his contribution to the culture is very clearly seen in his work? While we can all understand a desire to promote and sell the books and products by which he makes his living, 23 pages is just a bit over the top. Isn’t it?
...But that does not detract from the book itself. Once again we are treated to a feast of pictures as we skim round the world taking in such places as Christiana and dear old Amsterdam.
Although there are many great photographs, the book is generally let down by Cherniak’s over busy design. There are many pages where the images are so densely layered that they assault the eye leaving it shrivelled and tearful. But, thankfully, there are few words to read, just some short captions, in this predominantly pictorial volume. (For computer buffs who would like to see the many interesting effects that can be achieved on grass leaves with Photoshop filters, Mr Cherniak’s book is one that will be an invaluable time-saver.)
...More than ever, through its absence of substantial text, a coffeetable book, the third of the Great Books still has much to recommend it. In our opinion as good a writer as he is a photograph-
er, Laurence Cherniak supplies interesting and informative captions but not much more. When, on the subjects of smuggling and cooking and in the idiosyncratic introduction (‘Midnight Express’ revisited), he does put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) the info comes pouring out. But there is far too little of it to stop the book getting flagged.
...Without doubt the third book of Volume I of The Great Books of Hashish should be in everyone’s collection -- alongside the first two volumes. Somewhat deficient though it might be, it still makes an inestimable contribution to defining and expanding understanding of the culture that has grown up around the use of cannabis. If, as would seem to be the case, Mr Cherniak is intent on producing the definitive anthropological study of the cannabis culture, his mission is going well.
...And, it is loudly proclaimed on an early page of the newest volume, there is more to come. Book IV, it says, the first book in Volume II, will be released in the year 2000, not to mention books V and VI. But, whilst the end of 2002 approaches, we haven’t seen any sign of book IV, we do know Laurence Cherniak to be a man of his word.
...Even if there were no further books, Laurence Cherniak has made his contribution to the dope culture and the world. And what a massive one it is. Even without his garish self-promotion, he, his books and his photographs have become icons of the cannabis culture. Coffeehouse Culture, therefore, honours the great work done by Laurence Cherniak to further the understanding of and knowledge within this culture. Good on ya, Laurence.
PLAIN TEXT
TOP OF PAGE
We would like to thank Laurence Cherniak, Leon Winnick and Alan Dronkers for their help in prepar-
ing this article.
.. . . .
.
Join our own Fester Greenfinger as he points
his palsied digit in the direction of the greenhouse and says: “Let’s go pot”
or something similar.
. . plants get the clear water that washes out any stale chemicals in the growing medium and cleans up the taste of the grass. Once again, Amsterdam growers have the best of all possible world. Right there on the shelves of every grow shop are a range of fertilisers to suit every taste. (Dr D’Ath comments: ‘Drinking fertilisers can be very nutritious. However, the absence of roughage makes for some significant digestive problems. Not to mention the brown pee. Don’t do it. That’s my advice.’) It doesn’t matter whether you go for chemicals or biological fertilisers, powders or solutions, you can be assured that every bottle and packet on the shelf has been developed specifically for growing grass.
Although there are many preparations for use during the vegetative cycle, most growers here go for Fishmix. Rich in easily assimilated nitrogen and many of the trace elements necessary for good leaf development, in Fishmix the concentration of nitrogen is low enough that it is virtually impossible to over fertilise the plants.
The most crucial thing in this equation and, perhaps, the one thing that could be called an Amsterdam secret is the emphasis growers here place on pH. Everyone knows that pH is a measure of acidity. Everything has a pH value, your skin, soil, water, everything. A neutral pH means that the acid and alkaline elements are in balance. A plus value indicates a higher acid content and a minus value more alkaline. Although pH has wide ranging effects in different situations (if your skin pH is too low, for example, soap will not produce a lather,) in a growing environment it is an extremely potent influence. In order for grass plants to take up nutrients efficiently (and if you want the largest plants they need to be well fed,) they require a pH reading of between 5.5 and 6.5. Above or below that narrow range and the plants do not take up the nutrients provided in the water. Indeed, too high a pH and the plants will not even assimilate the minerals in clean water.
It is hardly surprising that Amster-dam growers are obsessed by pH. The usual pH value of tap water here is in the 8 to 9 range, which is way out of whack for grass plants. Every Amsterdam grower owns a pH meter and solutions to move the pH values up and down and every bucket of water is tested.
Nutrients are always added to the water before testing as they can have an effect on the pH. With the pH value in the correct range, the plants are capable of taking up almost all of the vital nutrients in the solution. It is, therefore, important to give them the maximum they can handle but no more. To ensure that the right concentration of nutrient is added to the water, growers use an EC meter. This measures the electrical conductivity of the water, which is effected by the electro-chemical reactions of the various compounds used as fertilisers. No grower in the Netherlands would be without these two vital tools.
The most costly part of any growroom is usually the air control system. In addition to a substantial system to vent hot and stale air from the growing chamber, an input fan is necessary to bring in fresh air and one or more circulation fans will be required to stop the humidity rising too high.
Temperature is a perennial problem for growers. In the summer growrooms get far too hot and in the winter, if you are in Holland, they are far too cold. Although the largest extractor fans will deal with light-generated heat, when the weather is hot, the air coming into the chamber is often warmer than that going out. Under those circumstances, many growers find it worthwhile to invest in a portable air conditioning unit. For heating that chilly growroom there is nothing better than a simple paraffin heater. Although they have to be checked and maintained on a regular basis, they have the added bonus of discharging a high level of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere which is very beneficial to the plants.
With so many factors playing a part in the grass equation, it is hardly surprising that growshop advice tends towards the bland. Everyone of the problems a grower might encounter in creating and maintaining his growing environment has at least a few solutions. Being a grass grower is not just a matter of putting a seed into soil and nurturing it. The Amsterdam grass grower is a combination of botanical technologist, electrical engineer and horticulturist.
So asking the right question will usually get you the right answer. But it will be the long answer and how right it is may well depend on how much it all costs.
In the final analysis, the growing of great grass requires a high level of dedication, a lot of knowledge, an eye for detail, a lot of energy and a billfold to fund the whole thing. Take care of all the details and you will grow grass that is among the best there is. It is all in the details. All of them.
So, that’s Fester Greenfinger’s advice for this issue -- take care of ALL the details. If you do that Cyber Growcubs, I can assure you that you will be pleased and proud to pass out in front of your friends. Just one thing, on your way down mention that your grass came to the world with the help of Fester Greenfinger. If enough of you say it, maybe I will get invited back on to Gardeners’ Question Time. And now, g’arnnn wi’ ya. ‘Cause I got some pottin’ to do.
PLAIN TEXTTOP OF PAGE
. PLAIN TEXT
GETTING DOWN TO THE DETAILS
. .
.
Go’ mornin’, art'a'noon or ev’nin’, Cyber Growcubs. It’s Fester Greenfinger here with some new medication and a few tips for all you naughty growers out there. Before we start getting our fingers dirty, maybe I should tell you what this column is about. I wouldn’t want any of you to get hold of the wrong end of the dibbing stick. What I want you to know is what this column will not be. The one thing it will not be is a crash course in growing. There are plenty of good books out there for those of you who are new to the field, as it were. No, I am expecting that most of the people who read this column will have some experience of growing. If you haven’t, I would suggest that you go away and read a few books, grow a few plants and then come back. See you in two years.
. .
. So that’s got rid of all the amat-eurs. Now, we seasoned old sons of the sod (or is it sods of the son?) can get down to talking business.
What I figure is this. Here I am in Amsterdam, home of the great-est grass in the world, and there you are somewhere else. I am surrounded by growshops, coffeeshops, expert growers and cannabis biogeneticists and you are more than likely surrounded by policemen. What can I give you (apart from a bail bond) that you would not have access to elsewhere? Well, of course, it has to be Amsterdam expertise. Only in Amsterdam have people had the opportunity to really experiment and develop the techniques of growing great grass. Isn’t that why Amsterdam grass is so renowned?
When it comes to growing grass Amsterdam is the fount of all knowledge. Evidence of it is everywhere -- the coffeeshops have the end product and the growshops have examples of the plants in all stages of maturity. The Netherlands is a country with a strong horticultural tradition. Flowers and plants for garden centres, supermarkets and corner shops are among the country’s largest exports. The Dutch understand plants and have a passion and a special skill when it comes to growing them. The tulip fields of Holland are not a myth. For about six weeks in the late spring, as you fly into Schipol airport, the fields below are like a box of watercolour blocks. It is not so much beautiful as impressive.
Extend this tradition and the passion that fires it to a plant that is worth getting passionate about -- grass -- and sparks are almost certain to fly.
Although the expertise is clearly there, it is like the rumble of an underground stream in a rocky and waterless terrain. You know it is there but getting to it is not easy. If you want to find out about grass, the place to start is the growshops. But, like getting water out of a stone, extracting the right information from the guys in the growshops is some-thing of an art. If you ask the right questions, you’ll get the right answers. But if you don’t ask you will probably get the ‘tourists’ guide to growing,’ a collection of bland and non-specific grow tips that can be useful but are more designed to suggest how easy it is than the realities.
So what are the realities? Despite the fact that the cannabis plant is the most prolific and environmentally adaptable weed on this planet, it is no breeze to grow it. Sure one can stick a few seeds in a pot and see what happens. A plant will almost certainly grow and produce smokable grass. And, in the right climate, with plenty of sunshine, you’ll get grass that is much more than smokable.
What you end up with, of course, depends on what you started with. Different seed strains develop in different ways. And only a few strains naturally develop the large, dense and sticky buds that are characteristic of sensimilla skunk. And then only under the right conditions. Grass is a sunshine greedy botanical glutton, certainly if it is going to be for smoking, and climate plays a major part in its natural, outdoor growth.
Holland, of course, does not have an outdoor climate that is suited to producing sensimilla plants (or anything more adventurous than mildew) without greenhouse protection. Depending on the plant genus and type of seed, sensimilla buds need a short but warm and sunny daylight period and a well-above freezing 12 hour period of darkness. In northern climes, by the time the seasons have done their thing, the days are grey and dim and the nights are very cold to freezing. Not what grass plants need at all.
Knowing that the production of high quality smoking grass depended on two main factors -- the seed and the environment -- gave Dutch growers a clear focus. Some of them became the breeders who established the first seed banks. To them fell the lot of developing the right seed stock for growth in Holland. A highly skilled and time consum-ing job of selecting plants within which desirable characteristics are strongly represented and cross breeding them with plants that possess other desirable qualities, this is the basis of bio-genetics. The hybrid seeds that were produced were a quantum leap ahead of the traditional genus. They produced the buds for which Amsterdam has be-
come so renowned -- the long,
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fat, sticky, dense, potent and very smelly heavily budded skunks that have become the industry standard in high quality world-wide grass growing.
Having the seed was only half of the basic equation, however. To get the seeds to perform to type, it was necessary for them to grow in the right conditions. With a climate like Holland’s, there was little alternative but to concentrate on indoor growing. With a horticultural industry that had already invested heavily in the development of indoor grow systems, the knowledgebase was already in place. And, as the earliest marijuana grow-books had shown, indoor environments could produce grass of the very highest quality. Even in the sub-arctic temperatures of Alaska, grass could be grown that resembled the best that Afghanistan or Mexico could produce. Or could have produced if they had only had the expertise, taken the care and had worked at it hard enough.
If many growers could not stick their seeds in mother earth and let them grow to rich and glori-ous floration as God intended, they could create their own gardens of Eden. Indoors. In such a garden, where every aspect of the environment is controlled, it was possible to create the ideal conditions for the growth of supremo quality grass.
But -- and here comes reality -- it is simply not that easy. To produce the highest quality grass every environmental factor has to be carefully set up, tweaked, monitored and maintained. We think about the conditions for growing things as being fairly simple -- a little soil, a little water, sunshine and moderate temperatures. Simple. Easy peasy. But is not quite that simple. Outside not only are these factors extrem-ely variable but there are other less obvious but equally im- portant ones to contend with. The most significant of these is air quality. In an outside envir-onment, plants are constantly supplied with the fresh air they require for photosynthesis. But that is not all. There are the climatic factors -- wind, rain and seasonal temperature variation -- that also have a significant impact.
Whilst all the factors that cont-ribute to the ideal grass grow-ing environment are perfectly controllable, there are a lot of them
The first requirement of any growroom is space. Plants need space. Whether they are grown as low level single bud shelf plants or a singly-potted fully developed Mothers, they still need space. Although the tightly packed shelved systems need a lot less space, they still need more than one would expect. But, whilst the crop they produce is far less variable in bud size than larger plants, the yield per metre is also considerably less. So the first rule of growing is: Give your plants enough room.
The most obvious and easy factor to accommodate appears to be soil. But, even here, the path is fraught with hidden pitfalls. It is a well known part of the grass ethos that the plants grow anywhere. In sandy, dry, arid, rocky, deso-late conditions, you will find grass growing if not flourishing. Under these conditions, however, starved of the vital nutrients they need to thrive, the plants will not produce large buds. Such plants will be stunted and sparsely leaved. And, for a plant to support large buds, it needs to be sturdy and have the strong densely-leaved limbs that come with good nutrition, the right amount of water and the right drainage. There are, for growers of grass in Holland, a wide range of specialist soils and other growing mediums in the shops. You pays your money and you takes your choice. For those less fortunate, it is best to go for a simple mix of not too rich potting compost and a drainage agent like perlite or sand. Although some opt for enriched soils, such growing mediums can be too rich or acidic for the delicate fibrous root mass of hemp plants. And it is easier to work out and start a nutrient regimen if the nutrients are going into a growing medium that has a low natural nutrient content.
When it comes to feeding their plants, most growers fertilise throughout the whole growth and flowering cycle. Only for the last week or so will the
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